Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
奇奇怪怪 女高中生和心理医生都好好看倒是
看得出导演在很努力地制造笑点，但是整个厅没有一个人笑的时候，真是尴尬得无声胜有声，情节设计莫名其妙，既然是幻想，那么靠幻想来解决问题是绝对不可能的，如果不是幻想，那莫名其妙地实现了很多手段又不给科学的解释，一个精神病医生塑造成了精神病，一个小偷塑造得像个弱智，反派也是个傻逼，都没有一条狗塑造的好。营造的世界又说服不了观众，纯是主创自嗨。一个网大水准上了院线，资本的力量可真厉害。建议啊，想拍幻想和爱情就学学《白日梦想家》，别浪费这么好的阵容了，观众不是傻逼。
对中年人生的呐喊，但无论是危机还是出轨，都没有任何劲道。影帝影后各自在努力发挥却没有任何火花。
一个人吃饭吃不停，女主则是默默吃药。这对比不错。
中年夫妻困境...真实又掷地有声.....大概是每一对新人仪式上的浪漫终将都成为相看两厌.....或许本就没有从一而终的陪伴...有的只是一遍遍机械般打扫洒了一地的酒...胡乱丢弃的鞋袜...美其名曰为爱人准备的晚餐......当所有的不满成为肢体上的冲突时，除了落泪与沉默我们还能做什么？
用聲音的表現貫穿全片，湘琪老師，已經超脫表演的框架，而是活生地像一個平常走在路上會擦肩而過帶有此境遇的婦女！
电影本身就是在再现想要诠释的这种婚姻状态。静默舒缓地推进，减少语言的解释。沉进去看，当然，得有能理解这样婚姻状态，或者达到相近年龄状态才行。是一个很有门槛的电影。年轻人基本会无视此片，给出极低的分数
差不多最后半个小时才看懂哪个是目标，最后男主没被杀死也是遗憾（对自己和观众来说）。但是看完依旧没明白重点是什么。可是正装的男主还是很迷人的。
九亿少女的梦算是片尾彩蛋吗？静物说话桥段还多少有点笑料包袱，其他设计也就一般吧没啥出彩的地方。但我感觉王彦霖应该是可以驾驭喜剧的，应该还是剧本的问题吧，有点可惜了。
古屋兔丸的原作+脚本，成定秀夫监督，本以为会是个如《性之剧毒》版充满猎奇X性X恶趣味X变态的「终极杀器」，结果呈现效果却出奇的差。Autassassinophilia是个极具爆炸力与挑战性的议题，但导演在表现方式上却过分注重于行为而脱离了对于心理因素的探究。且近期成定秀夫的选角一直是个谜，如今的田中圭已经「油腻」到不忍直视，却还一而再再而三的饰演人设很帅的「万人迷」角色着实违和。总结起来是要猎奇没猎奇，要表演没表演，要深度没深度，故弄玄虚，平庸之作。
中年婚姻生活肯定会是空洞、乏味、无趣的，就像这部电影一样。有的地方没必要走神叨路线，陈湘琪再次在电影里复制了有如当年的“撞门”的表演神迹。镜头切换看不懂，很多无对白的镜头，导演刻意用这种镜头语言的表达来体现情感？看得好累。
有些幻想还挺新鲜的，剧情逻辑有bug。女主这个智商+不科学，是怎么当上医生的？
冲着了解古屋去的，只能说，hentai的世界我不懂
编导犯了个大错，佛主曾规定修佛的人对狗应该是“不杀不养”。狗儿最忠诚讨喜。狗主人和儿女、父母都会生怨，但很少会和狗儿生怨。所以爱狗人士临终时绝大多数都心系狗儿。此时的心识若在狗儿身上，那就会转生为狗。
考古死亡通道，爱犬召唤实验，凯瑟琳，柔道女，文学女，预知女，外加拥有同等技能的心理催眠前女友；一开始布局下大棋的气氛营造挺好，还以为会像《恶之教典》那样来个暴走大龙凤啥的，结果计划白痴不说，还来了个 body count zero 的寂寞，伤心:(
原本以为只是挂着“小众性癖”的痴汉系喜剧，但情节演进的过程恰恰是通过不断放出烟雾弹逐步推翻荒诞“告白”基调，从而落实“被谋杀”计划的过程，欲望的确实性得以正视。
生活是可以雕塑一个人的相貌的，让女人丑陋的最根本原因，就是心中没有了爱意，哪怕是对自己。
2022年5月四日，GV Plaza。只有前后15分钟左右醒着
很多修行会让人走火入魔。
优酷四倍速救了我一命 越看越分不清屏幕内外谁有病 整个一稀碎 想哪出讲哪出 黄段子引起不适
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