Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
嘴贱加憨憨的传统配方，外加必不可少的神秘美女，主角三人组就像是从之前的片场走过来，沿用各自的经典人设拼凑了部环游世界的偷盗片，冒险动作片该有的元素都有，意外的惊喜是一点都没有，最后的反转反转再反转太刻意了。
标准到不能再标准的偷盗片，我都不知道这是我看到的第几个彩蛋，第几个卢浮宫了。三个人看海报都知道各自什么人设，没头脑和不高兴，外加一个美女神偷，一个美女警察，网飞流水线越来越标准化了。
在每一幕琐碎鸡毛又充满矛盾冲突的生活场景里，是中年女性努力支撑的坚强与悄无声息的崩溃。虽然是以癌症晚期的季佩珍为切入点，但电影并没有堆砌狗血的剧情，也没有刻意渲染离别的残酷。相反，它用轻盈又温情的结局，实现了残酷之外的另一种圆满。死亡不是结束，被世界遗忘才是灵魂的终点。喜欢徐帆和张婧仪相得益彰的表演，从强势到温柔，从叛逆到和解，每一个眼神的交汇，都是爱与亲情的浓浓羁绊。
嘴贱加憨憨的传统配方，外加必不可少的神秘美女，主角三人组就像是从之前的片场走过来，沿用各自的经典人设拼凑了部环游世界的偷盗片，冒险动作片该有的元素都有，意外的惊喜是一点都没有，最后的反转反转再反转太刻意了。
此前看烂番茄新鲜度低到只有35%，还好奇怎么会那么差劲？结果正片并没有预想的那么烂。再次证明烂番茄新鲜度于我的参考价值不及豆瓣、IMDb！—— Ed Sheeran（被抓捕时）：放开我，你们知道我是谁吗？我出演过《权力的游戏》！我是艾德·希兰，混蛋！
也不能说烂，就是老套，非常老套……还有点无聊。当然加朵还是美的。
剧情麻麻，既不过脑也不走肾，什么都想稍稍沾点，元素多而乱，也没什么笑点，台词倒是埋了不少彩蛋，反派摆设，警方道具人，小贱贱还是那个小贱贱演法，加朵的脸就算再努力使坏还是出戏（难道是因为那blingbling的大眼睛？）三个喜欢的演员凑在一起结果却并没有期待中的化学反应，相对来说巨石这个角色还稍微ok，结尾就算能拍得了下一部我也不准备看了
「全球水源供全球」，好莱坞明星真好赚。然而这套配方这套题大陆也看到了，就是开卷都做不出来...
就是好像十年前没有拿到投资的项目，现在终于配了卡司找到了冤大头。
和死侍一二中间插了一二百个自由人，集齐三巨头各自在新冠贡献烂大片，惊觉他们一个个个真的没离花瓶多远，而且都还不如肌肉拿破仑靓骚。说明像样的剧情和特效起码要有一个，反转完全是为了讲你朝笑话？光靠贱贱犯贱完全不够，可能上下铺是最佳
但言而总之，电影是不错的，看得很开心。我家贱贱跟巨石强森的化学反应在《速激特别行动》之后，得到了更好的表现，而他也奉上了近年来，《死侍》《失控玩家》之后最优秀的喜剧表演。love
挺好的商业类型片，该有的都有，结尾还有反转，不至于这么低分。
剧情当然是没有的，你说它的卖点不是剧情吧，它的视觉效果也没有多出彩，2亿美元不知道花在哪儿了，但凡请个好编剧也不至于这么差。
意外的好看，虽然挺俗套无脑的，但是真的很好笑啊啊啊啊从头笑到尾，边吃饭边看快笑到喷饭。死侍依旧那么嘴炮真的好想打他哦，但是这个反转真的是万万没想到啊。还挺想吃着爆米花在大银幕上再看一次的。
打戏好看，剧情紧凑，对白搞笑。唔虽然剧情上有些bug，三个人也并没有他们想要呈现的那么厉害，但不至于只有6分。
一盘棋局，两个“主教”，还有很多“卒”，“反转”
比预想的要好看。这是一部外表亮丽但内在粗俗的电影，就像一个长得俊俏的文盲女孩。
这部电影真真是把人看吐了！！！不知从何时起，国产电影越来越把“好不好哭”作为衡量一部电影好不好看的“金标准”，“哭”其实是最容易被触发的情绪，比“笑”都简单，曾经用“强行挠胳肢窝让你笑”来讽刺电影拙劣的“搞笑”技能，现如今也可以用“生生把你打疼了让你哭”来形容此类“好哭”电影的拙劣。“母爱”是伟大的，“母亲”是无私的，但绝不是电影里表现的那样是“苦逼”的，前一秒种女儿不理解妈妈的各种做法，弟弟对着姐姐各种恶语相向，后一秒钟因为母亲（姐姐）患癌立马变成大孝子，你们可真是要孝死你妈（姐）了！我要是这妈，宁可得癌症的是这俩逼崽子！这特么跟“娘道”“姐道”同属一类吧！怎么？“妈道”又要开始祸害人间了？！零分，差评！不推荐！
3.0 人类的悲喜并不相通 我们那场映后Q&A 真的有女生哭了。而我已经掉进被尴尬的剧情、情感脚趾扣出的地洞里了。目前没有看到任何有说明翻拍的说明。但和韩国电影《世界上最美的离别》这么相似算不算。（韩版也非常一般）啊 我为什么要给两星我也不知道为什么啊 或是是吴彦姝老师的演技吧。正01:54:55全01:59:41 再来立个flag豆瓣评分最终不过6.5吧
网飞厉害，让盖尔加朵、贱贱、巨石强森加在一起烂得出奇
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